How to Get Over that Painful Heartbreak – Part 1

"A broken heart is a heart that has felt love."

-          Unknown

B

eing in a romantic relationship can be the best thing to have ever happened to you. The good times, the intimacy, the passionate kisses and amazing love-making, the emotional whirlwind of untold mutual pleasures, the companionship; these are wonders of relationships that make you want it not to ever end. But then like most good things, you and I know relationships do come to an end.  Sometimes, more often than not and much more quickly than it started. Some end in a mutually, less devastating manner.  Others? Well, others could make you consider committing suicide to end your pain and misery.  

As such, it makes you then ask yourself ‘what’s the point in being in one, after all?’, ‘why even bother when it hurts sure as hell when it ends?’ Truth is, you can’t let the fear of pain keep you from the joy of gain. And though break-ups can be very devastating, you don’t have to beat yourself stupid over it for too long. It may seem harsh at the time but it may be for the best!

So, to help you go through this most painful chapter of every love life, and face heartbreaks without total breakdown, here are a few tips I have gathered for you through personal experiences and professional research on how to cope with heartbreaks. This is hoping that the hurt of heartbreak does not harm you long enough to forget what pleasures true romance and loving relationship can offer you when you put yourself out there to love and be loved again.

"You cannot easily drop a person out of your mind. Especially when that person left a special mark on your heart.”

-          Unknown

1.      Remember the good times. It is easy for you to forget all the good times you shared when someone you love and care about, breaks your heart and leaves you totally heartbroken and dejected. Some even try to erase the memory and the emotions they once felt with the person. This is not adequate. From my experience, it is emotions and our memories that make us human. Lose that and you lose yourself. You must always remember that your capacity to feel and to share memories is what keeps your heart lovable and loving; it keeps it alive. And remembering the good times will make you see and understand that you have the capacity to love and be loved. This helps you to love again. It keeps you from dwelling in negative energies of a painful heartbreak that can lead to suicidal ideation that could make you want to take your own life, for example, out of grief.  Remembering the good times means love will never die in your heart.

“Continue to share your hear with people even if it has been broken. Don’t treat your heart like an action figure wrapped in plastic and never used”

-          Amy Poehler

2.      Remember the Not-so-good times. Remembering the good times is good. But remembering the bad times isn’t bad too. Truth be told, why remembering the good times keeps your heart alive to love and life, remembering the bad times can put into perspectives the things that went wrong and the mistakes both you and your partner made that led to the breakup. Be objective. See where you probably should have done better, and also where your partner should have done better as well. Note the mistakes and learn from them. Heartbreak is not a death sentence. Thinking about what didn't go well can start the process of healing. But don’t dwell on them for too long. Learn the lesson of the breakup and what it’s worth. When love gives you another chance, you want to make sure this time things are different and better.

 3.      Take time to think and learn something new. Feeling blue is an energy thing. Heartbreaks are energy sapping. Dwelling on the pain for too long will keep your energies down. Depression sets in and suddenly you are on a negative spiral. You don’t want that. Rather than waking up to go back to bed again out of sheer misery, get up and get involved in something. Kill the helplessness and hopelessness heartbreaks spill on you. Commit to your work. Get more involved with your studies and school activities if you’re a student. Attend religious fellowships and prayer sessions. Visit Nature and meditate on life's meanings. Go to the library or pick up a good book and read at home. Give to charity. Volunteer to help, say motherless babies or any good cause. Write about something. Create a work of art. Write a poem. Do a song. Learn a new trade, say make-up, catering, computer networking, etc. Just do something – anything. Point is, you put your energies into something positive and constructive, and it keeps your mind off negative energies and fills you with constructive enthusiasm. Soon the pain of the heartbreak will be long gone, and your life becomes purposeful and in control again.    

Hope this helped...

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I'd like you to share your experiences with me and the readers in the comment section below and let us know how you were able to cope with your own heartbreak. I'll be most delighted to hear from you! But if you want a more personal platform, you can reach me at chidielebenedict@gmail.com or 08137337618 or Ping me on PIN 2AEB2AF3. I'd be glad to have you and share with you!

Stay blessed and happy!